When I was first married, my dad said he and mom wanted to be close enough to help (if we needed it) but far enough away to let us live our own lives (without being intruded upon).
Such good thinking and actions on their part! I want to be the same with our kids and our daughter/son-in-laws. I cannot relive any parts of my life through them. They get to make their own decisions for their families just like we did for ours.
How freeing to be there to love, help, and support…not to control, coerce or conform.
So I have told my grown kids that they and those with families are their own separate units now. They are no longer under the umbrella of mom and dad. They are free to make their own decisions, live where they want, raise their kids how they want, do holidays and holiday time how they like, not having to be bound by ‘what will mom and dad want or think?’ I have seen too many family relationships destroyed when the kids feel they have to ‘attend’ every family’s dinner at holiday times. What if the kids just want stay at their own ‘nest’ without going anywhere?
I don’t think that’s being disrespectful, it’s letting them go and flap their own wings. Sure, the kids love mom and dad and want to be with family, but they cannot be shamed or made feel guilty if they choose to do something different.
This is my opinion. The End 🙂
Mrs. Goodfinder 