Last post, I related a story about the man coming into the office angry and trying to deposit his ‘people-pain’ on me. I mentioned how my response was kind and friendly even though his actions were undeserving; but isn’t that the way life is? None of us deserve good treatment, but we are obligated to treat all humans with respect and kindness, being an example of what we’d like to see from them. “Do unto others as you would like done unto you.” Sometimes that is very hard to remember, much less do. But it is a possible goal…it won’t be done perfectly or often enough, but it is a goal I’m striving for. Back to the gentleman previously mentioned. As an experiment in people, I have treated him very kindly since that experience and guess what? He came into the office another time and I wished him a good day and he said with his back to me, “Same to you.” What a surprise!!! That was the most positive thing I’d heard from him ever! The next time he came in, I wished him a good day again and this time he replied, “Have a good day.” Again still not facing me when he spoke, but this was progress none-the-less! He has been in several more times since and his demeanor is changing for the better each time. I think some people have in their minds from previous episodes in their lives, thought patterns that they have to act, react or think and respond in certain ways. They don’t see other options. By treating them with kindness and respect and just being good to them, I believe it raises the bar in their lives by raising the bar in their own eyes of who they are. They begin to see themselves as someone worth something to someone else and because they are now a somebody and not a nobody, they begin to treat others as somebodies and not nobodies. Try this experiment in you own life and see what good results they bring.
Tag: perfectionism
What I See in You
This phrase has revolved in my mind many times over the past several years while thinking about different people in my circles. What if I wrote each one of them a short note telling them specific things, qualities I see in them that are praiseworthy, helpful to others, things unique to them that are of benefit to others. Yes, I have told some of them these things, but could it be more meaningful to have it in print so they could refer to it in times of self-doubt and uncertainty that seem to strike us all in times of weakness and pain?
What has prevented me from writing these notes to others? Fear that they would think I was trying to ‘butter them up’ for something, or that I was being ‘dishonest’? Fear of the personal-ness associated with genuine feelings being shown towards another human being that I maybe don’t know all that well? Fear that maybe these were just fleeting thoughts and weren’t really true at all…thinking I’d made the whole thing up?
Perfection is part of the ugliness involved in this equation, I think. Sometimes I have stopped from saying or doing something because it wasn’t true 100% of the time, and I didn’t want to be a phony or mislead anyone…because they probably don’t exhibit this behavior 100% of the time… just like I don’t exhibit good behavior 100% of the time. We are all flawed creatures, yet every one of us has good things about us that sometimes only another person is able to draw out. Every little seed has great potential—if it is watered and tended to.
Could I be a waterer and tender of others…pointing out their growth and good characteristics, encouraging them to continue on developing and doing those admirable things that are unique only to them?
Am I willing to turn over my fears (aka criticisms) that something good might not develop and allow myself to be stuck in the poison of perfectionism?
Can I take the leap of faith to choose only to see and speak the best in others no matter what they are currently doing, because they need someone to believe in them and speak good about and to them, and let that seed sown develop, however slowly (perhaps without me ever seeing it grow) and turn into something lovely in their life?
I will write one praiseworthy note to someone today.
Mrs. Goodfinder 