Tag: frustration

I Can’t…

Jennifred Jones

Saturday morning at the ice-rink a boy about 7 years old kept falling down.

The instructor would help him up and he’d fall again. When she got him up he only wanted to hold on to her. He didn’t want to try to stand or skate alone.

I could see the look on his face. Total frustration, almost red-faced anger at his young age. The instructor would help him time and time again – even getting down on the ice and showing him how to position his feet and legs so he could get up by himself like all the other young skaters were. Everyone was falling down and eventually getting back up all by themselves. This little boy was not really trying. He’d look like he tried to get up and then fall again and squirm until someone came to ‘help’ him. The instructors were looking back and forth at each other wondering how many times to ‘help’ him – when he would not help himself. He was not incapable – just not-capable because of his thinking. Somewhere along the way, he had given in to the ‘I can’t’ mentality. I imagine it was more than just on the ice.

The reason I could see it so clearly is that had been me at different times in my life…Algebra and math. I just ‘couldn’t‘ (I thought). Or meeting new people. I was too shy (unwilling to step out of my security box). I put off learning computers for years – thinking it was a passing fad. ‘I can’t‘ trying to rule me again.

Many times, teachers have learned…allow the student to struggle until they are hungry enough to learn. Then they will.

Back to the boy on the ice. He wasn’t ready to learn. Not yet. Give him a little more time, or maybe find something else he is interested in. Don’t nurture the ‘I can’t’.

In our mind, if we will remove the ‘t‘, it will spell, ‘I can‘. The first step is begin to recognize all our ‘I can’ts’

Where can I begin today?

Move Forward

Jennifred Jones

Sometimes, many times, too many times, without realizing it we come to a stop.

Growing up my father worked hard to provide for us, but on a professor’s income and only getting a paycheck nine months of the year, summertime was very hard for him and our family. We had the time to do many things, but no easy income. Mom supplemented with her interior design business, but too often dad would begin a project with what he had and then would have to stop because he couldn’t afford the supplies needed to finish the project.

I remember him saying so often, “we’ll just coast for a little bit”. We kids had lots of energy and willpower to do things, but we couldn’t.

It became a habit that when things became too hard either mentally or physically, (I think alot of it was emotionally) rather than hit the problem head on or think of another way, we’d just ‘coast’.

Dad lost his father at age 13, and him being the oldest had to assume the responsibility along with his mother and aunts and grandma to figure how to make ends meet.

Dad was the most loving, kind father. He was a deep thinker with a very bright mind, but he would get stuck in these moments and too many summers ended with yet another uncompleted project. I could tell this frustrated my dad. He didn’t know how to deal with it at the time.

It’s something how our past can affect our future until we redirect it and get on a new, better path.

I have struggled with the same patterns my father did in getting/feeling stuck…almost a feeling of being helpless. Not hopeless, but helpless, not sure how to get to the next point or who to ask for help…the feeling of having to figure it out all alone.

But that’s why God gave us each other. If Covid taught us anything, it’s we need other people, we cannot make it on our own. I have discovered people want to help other people. It’s humbling to ask for help, yet it is in our nature to be of help.

Most people want to help. So there’s no real reason to remain stuck or coast. We can ask for the help we need and together move forward.

Today, I had to ask two people for help so I could move forward in an area that is big to me. They helped me and felt good about it, and I moved forward as a result.

I choose not to stay stuck or coast through my life.

Are there areas in you life you feel stuck or are coasting?

Let’s move forward together.

C’mon…