Friendliness

Growing up, I was horribly shy…even into my early 20s. I didn’t like it and didn’t have many friends as a result, and felt there was no cure.

It was a terribly lonely way to be…so insecure, felt so inferior, was sure everyone was talking about how skinny I was etc., etc., etc. So I asked God about it – why I was that way. He showed me there was nothing wrong with me, that I had been listening to lies about myself. I wasn’t talking about everyone else’s ‘flaws’ or thinking the worst of them….more importantly they weren’t thinking the worst and talking about me! It was like a lightbulb had been turned on inside. I had made it all about me, living all about me…actually very selfish 😦

Then the thought came to me that many others perhaps felt the same way and I needed to get out of my comfort (actually discomfort) zone and talk to them. It began with a simple smile, an acknowledgement of their presence, then standing still facing them and asking how their day was or what they had been doing etc. rather than a quick encounter and running off to hide (in my insecurity) by avoiding people. I discovered there were a lot of us fighting the same battles and it needed to be realized and talked about so we could be cured and free to interact with other people.

It is was a fight inside of me each time to force myself to get out there and speak to people, to look them eye to eye. Slowly it became a little bit easier each time. Now, decades later, the ole insecurity, inferiority, shyness, whatever you want to call it, still tries to rise up from time to time, but the best way to stop it is to get out there in the public  and start smiling and talking to people.

It is not only good for me, but good for them.

Have you fought this battle as well? How do you break its hold? Do you find others going through similar thoughts?

Holing up until you feel better does not work!

Let’s work together to fight off our insecurities by befriending others.